I was out and about one
fine evening, and I had been
drinking. I was walking around town, and I decided to visit a friend of mine who I used to work with. He's the head
chef of a very nice place in town, and it was about midnight. I went in, shot the shit with him, and we agreed to meet up at a bar nearby. I'm not 21. About an hour later, I go into the bar, and he's not there. I have no money. On a lark, I decide that I'm going to get
drunk at this bar. I have no money and I'm not 21. My goal is to walk in, under 21, no money, and get drunk.
Mission accomplished.
I sit with a couple older dudes, who just happen to be musicians. We talk about Old Crow Medicine Show and how Nickelback sucks, they buy me probably about six drinks. I eventually work my way over to a group of people playing pool. I used to play pool for money a lot, so I challenge these guys to shoot for beers. If I lose, I'm fucked. Luckily, I win and they buy me beers. The guy I won against, his sister is there. I told her I was 22. She said she was twenty years older than me. She's drunk, so am I.
I end up going with her and her brother to... somewhere? I don't remember why I went with them. The brother was driving, and he went to make a drug deal or something. He got out, and it looked like shit was about to go down, people were stepping up behind him. I knew the signs, and I jumped out of the car. I was wearing a jacket, and I made moves like I had a gun or something. I went to the people who were encroaching on him and told them "step back, this isn't your business" and then tapped him on the shoulder and said "finish off here, we need to move." I did this because I knew that he was in some sort of trouble, and I'd been making out with his old (but still pretty hot) sister all night. I felt like I owed him one. He couldn't stop thanking me. He thought I actually had a gun, and asked to see it. I told him I was bullshitting, and he couldn't stop laughing. He said I was the craziest motherfucker he'd ever met, and if I wasn't there, they would have beat the shit out of him. Glad I could help, I guess. I'm not a big guy, and I don't look like shit, but I'm insanely confident and I honestly do know how to handle myself in a fight (I was a boxer for a while), which is funny because later in the night I got knocked out. Straight up cold on the ground knocked out.
We drink more. I'm totally wasted by now. We go... somewhere? I think it was some friends of the driver/brother. Anyway, some dude rolls up, and for whatever reason I hate him. He's some peacocking piece of shit, wearing tapout/affliction/whatever. He talks about how badly he wanted to fight those guys where I was.
Me being drunk and in the mood for some competition, I ask him to play taps with me. Playing taps is this: you don't hit hard, you try to break guard and touch the other guy with your hand. It's a sort of retarded version of sparring. I'm tapping with this guy, next thing I know, the older hot chick is lifting me up off the pavement and this fucker is apologizing. Everyone's pissed at him. Apparently, when I put my hands down and said something like "that was fun, I'm going to grab a beer", he clocked me in the mouth as I was turning around. I was still dazed when the hot older girl walked me to her car, and I last remember that guy having the shit kicked out of him by about five guys who lived there. I guess they liked me more than him.
My nose was broken, and my face was crusted with blood. Older girl and I start hooking up in the car. We go back to her place, I fuck her, she says I should leave. I agree. It was pretty awkward. I walk home about two miles.
I avoid those bars nowadays, but whenever I do find myself there, I always see the brother and sister. I guess they're regulars. The brother loves me, he thinks I'm the shit. The sister just looks at me, with eyes that say "we had our fun, go have yours."