It's been two months since I last wrote here which was the Saturday June 8, 2002 day log. I had an incredible day that day. How I wish I could go back to that day. I guess that is selfish thinking and longing...
Well in the last week I've come to conclusions on my life with Anne. How I loved her, still do to a point. What she meant to me and how she said that she did like me but doesn't know anymore. But I have to get over her. She is a sophomore and I'm a senior and that will be hard for dating.
I asked her out on June 27 and she said yes. I was so happy. It had been nearly two years since I was in a relationship and it felt good to be getting back into "society". Well we went out, had fun, and thought everything was fine. How wrong I was.
I get home and I have an email telling me she isn't ready to pursue anything and how unready she is. Of course I email back, etc. We end up still friends but it wasn't the same as before. She's always so tense and unable to talk to me. We've had two long talks at night on the phone about things and things have gotten better in the terms of being able to talk to her. That I'm grateful about.
I have to move on. I don't think I'm going to get into anything with any woman anytime soon. I'm not that handsome so it's hard for me to find dates. I'm planning on doing well in school this year and move on to college and I hope things get better there. High school sucks, it really does. Not just because of the relationships that are attempted but the immaturity that is faced. I hate the women in my Senior class. They just don't appeal to me. Oh well. Moving on.
As I said two months ago, but in a different matter/tone...
Goodnight Anne. -- It's been fun, exciting, and I love you still. You'll never know exactly how much you have changed me. I don't think I could tell you either. I hope you know how much I'm going to miss you. I'll remember you always...