I dream of crowds all the time
Until this pandemic began, I had no idea how important being around people was for me. It was so draining for me so much of the time, I couldn't tell how much I needed it.
Last night, I dreamt that I was in a bus station. Every bus was full and people flowed on and off when they stopped
Most days, I just see my wife and kid and nobody else. I miss sitting at the office and casually being in the presence of my coworkers. Running into them in the kitchen. There are no acquaintances right now.
Often in my dreams I get lost, and I'm anxious. When I wake up, I know where I am and I'm anxious
I've come to think my younger introversion was actually partly dysphoria. When I was around people, I had to keep my carefully-constructed facade of masculinity in place. Now I don't and it makes things easier.
Dreaming of people doesn't make me feel better
I'm not doing especially well lately. Restrictions are getting stricter again here and they weren't very relaxed to begin with. It's hard to do things, even necessary things, even things that don't require leaving the apartment. I never thought just surviving could be both this hard and this boring, but here we are...