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Good cooks and good doctors
Before beginning any new operation
Scrub their hands pink
Paying particular attention
To the fingernails and other crevices
Depending how many folds they have.

It would be ridiculous to suggest
That hands are labia
Arrant nonsense patently untrue
And yet I had a girlfriend
Who knew a boyfriend
Whose family owned a market
Full of different kinds of common fish.

It’s true that the surgeon wear gloves
But if he scratches his balls
(All surgeons are men right?)
It’s not so very different
To the cook who dreams of a double
And catches his boys below.