The original
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen were all famous or infamous. They were
legends. So when I was forced to assemble a new super-team in
2001, I went looking for people of similar calibre. The new League consisted of the following:
- James Bond, super-spy, converter of errant lesbians, and connoisseur of the vodka martini. Also has good CIA and FBI connections. His notoriety in the criminal underworld actually complicated our mission on occasion, but his good looks and prowess at the art of the double entendre made him a must-have.
- Indiana Jones, archeologist and expert on the occult. Missing, presumed dead, since 1951, Jones was really - no, actually I can't tell you that. Let's just say he seems to be about 55 years old in 2001.
- Max Cohen, genius mathematician and hacker extraordinaire. Although for a time it appeared that his amazing mental powers had been crippled, they gradually returned with a vengeance, making him highly twitchy and prone to debilitating migraines, but also one of the most intelligent people on Earth. It is also rumoured that he is on first-name terms with God.
- John Connor, guerilla fighter and demolitions expert. Also a hacker, although not quite as skilled as Cohen.
- Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter. Her combination of necromantic, vampiric and lycanthropic traits made her a valuable asset when dealing with the supernatural. Her tendency to talk for hours at a time, making a five-page story turn into a 350-page novel, proved to be an advantage, helping us distract the Agents when... but no, I really can't say any more.
- Steve Austin, cyborg prototype. Taken off the Agency's active duty roster in 1981, but was called back into service when a new top secret bionic program was launched in 1996. With his all-new parts and hair transplants, his current value is estimated at $60,000,000,000. Unfortunately, after consuming industrial quantities of drugs that were fashionable during the Eighties, he seemed to be stuck in some sort of time-loop. The nearly lethal Seventies flashback rendered him incapable of wearing anything but wide flare trousers and open, large-collared shirts, revealing an unsightly amount of chest hair and making him unsuitable for covert operations, so the Agency was happy to release him when we told them he was needed to help save the universe.
The Mission: Early in 1999, I began to suspect that our life was nothing but a world pulled over our eyes to blind us to the truth, said truth being that we are slaves. I was discontented, and felt that my job was getting just a bit too boring to be real. I began to bend my amazing Web-surfing prowess towards the goal of uncovering the mind-boggling conspiracy. It was at this point that I enlisted the aid of Max Cohen, a fellow New Yorker, hapless Go player and lover of independent films.
When the aliens with acid blood and great nasty claws began to appear in my bedroom, I knew I was on to something darker than my wildest nightmares. I began to investigate a rogue start-up called www.LethalKillerRobotsTimeTravelandPlanetarySimSystems.com, and was eventually led to the vaults of Cyberdyne Entertainment, a company founded by disgruntled employees of the defunct Cyberdine Systems. Through this investigation I was introduced to John Connor, but the vast left-wing conspiracy that we uncovered demanded that we bring in further reinforcements. Thus was born the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2001. The full extent of our adventures may not yet be told to the public, but if you /msg me I'll be happy to provide links to Slashdot articles that will prove everything.
For the record, I completely agree with Pseudo_Intellectual about future LOEGs - if they are to be written, I would rather read about the League of 1787, or those of older periods, than about any modern team, which would surely be as lifeless and uninspiring as any Marvel-DC-Image-DHC Crossover Spectacular X-Treme!!!. But here, we're talking about a League 0f 2001. Obviously this work would be written in 2102. And what will the readers of 2102 prefer to read? Most of the characters so familiar to us today will be ripe for a new presentation. James Bond may be too popular for serious consideration at the moment, but a hundred years from now I suspect most people will think he was a transgendered American who drank mostly Pepsi and did his best spywork in cyberspace - or else they will have forgotten him entirely, like the unfortunate Doctor Syn.