A short play
The stage is in darkness. A blinding white light is shone into the audience, then swung round onto the stage to spot a man, dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt, marked JC. He smiles. Behind him stand two more men, one with a plain white T-shirt, one with a red.
JC: Greetings, humanity, and welcome to today's main attraction – the Apocalypse. I'd like this to be an orderly process, so when I call your name, if I identify you as a sheep, please line up behind Raphael here (he indicates the man in white who walks down to the front right of the stage) and goats, take your place behind Gabriel (the man in red walks front and left)
Pause.
JC: calling offstage Okay, Michael, we're ready for the book. Pause. WHAT? Pause. You have got to be kidding me. For goodness sake! Who in heaven's name persuaded Dad to go with Windows? Pause. I see. Well, I shall just have to have a word or two with Lucifer when I see him next.
Silence. JC shuffles in embarrassment.
JC: Yes, well, um, it seems there's a problem with the Book of Judgement. We're going to cancel for today, so if you could just make sure you're all here the same time tomorrow…
Voice from offstage: A week on Thursday.
JC: sighing …A week on Thursday, we'll do the whole judging thing then. Except … wait… Bill Gates. Is Bill Gates here?
Voice from back of room: Here!
JC: Ah good, no need for an important man like you to wait. Gabriel, take him away.