Show and tell is something most of us remember from
elementary school. For me, we stopped having show and tell in grade four.
Show and tell was a time for us to bring in something fun that we had at home, to show the class; afterward we'd garner polite, morose applause. The idea was that we could share what we knew about whatever we brought in. It was a lot better than the alternative, which was to tell a joke if you had one. Show and tell was most frequently some strange toy that a kid would bring in, like K'NEX, occasionally a musical instrument which the teacher would beam proudly at one of us for bringing in. (One day, in grade three, a girl named Cindy brought in a violin, and she played the most wonderful music it's been my privelege to hear. She was so talented that we got all the classes from grade one to grade five to listen to her play. That, right there, is the true reason we have show and tell. To find out those little things.)
My favourites would be when someone would bring in pets though. School generally frowned on bringing a pet in - what if it bites? or stings? or runs away? The school can't be responsible. Besides, what's new about cats? They're not fun, they're normal. At least, when a kid would bring in a pet, it'd be something half-decent, like a newt, or a salamander, or a turtle. I'd be thrilled at the sight of them.
At the time that show and tell was a mainstay in my school life, I owned a goliath birdeating spider. My father saw it as a creature of strength, of power. Her name was Chloe, and she was friendly. She wasn't a particularly extroverted spider, and was rather protective of me. So when I brought her into class, I had to carry her in a paper bag. I put my hand up in a fit of happiness: Pick me! I wanna go up for show and tell! Pick me! I was picked.
I informed the class that I had a spider, and I took her out. She weighed a pound or more, I can't remember: Everyone, this is Chloe, my pet.
Screams. Shouts. The teacher - Ms. Beattie - yelling. Crying. Chloe grasping her legs around my hand and arm as if she were scared.
I was sent down to the office, I got roared at by the principal, until my mother was reached at work and ordered to pick my spider up. I never did show and tell again. And I never told those stupid jokes, either.