― Save me Mother, for I have sinned.
― Only our Mother in Heaven can save you, my daughter. The Holy Church and her servants can but show the Way.
― I have come to you to confess, my Mother, not to the Church, and not to The Mother of All.
― When did you last confess, my daughter?
― Long ago. I don't know.
― But now you will return to the Church.
― Now I feel that I must confess, and where can I turn but to the Church? Although I have lost my faith in God, and have little faith in Her Church.
― But still you have the awareness of sin. Have you then sinned so much?
― My sins will be many, but only one is a burden I cannot bear alone.
― All sin is one, as virtue is one. If you name the sin that lies on your heart, you may find forgiveness for the rest.
― As if forgiveness were enough…
― Have you sinned in thought, word, or deed?
― I will tell you of two sins; it is the second that I must confess. One in deed, the worse in thought.
― And do you still sin now?
― I cannot stop, from when I wake at sunset to the late hours of morning, the thought will not leave me alone.
― So tell me your story.
― It starts many years ago when I shed my last childhood and was married. My wife was a model of purity and beauty. And is. Although I know she thinks the same of me. And I cannot tell her she is wrong…
― Have you tried?
― I cannot. And so I am here, telling you. They say you are a better priest than most.
― None of us is greater than our vocation.
― You may believe that if you must. I lived in purity with my wife for three long years.
― You were not happy?
― I felt I was in heaven, but for one thing.
― You had no daughter?
― We had no sons. The marriage could not be consummated.
― Three years is a long time to wait, especially when you are young. But then your purity was rewarded?
― My purity? You are talking to a rapist, Mother.
― So rape is your first sin. And the second is worse? You bear a heavy burden.
― We lived together and tended our garden and waited, and no sons came. We loved each other deeply, but had no sons. Others had gardens of lesser beauty, but they were filled with beautiful sons. It seemed to me that others loved less, but they at least could express their love. Our garden seemed to mock me. I was young and hungry. And one day…
― One day you stilled your hunger.
― One day I walked out in the midday sun, when the world was asleep, entered a strange garden and ate a stranger's son.
― And you have kept the secret since then.
― There are no secrets before God, I thought, and I thought that She would punish me. In punishing me She would have punished my wife, and thus would have punished me twice. But instead we were rewarded. I did not understand at the time.
― You had sons?
― I did. I chose the most beautiful and gave it to her, and finally our union was consummated. Then she had sons, and our happiness was complete. Except for my secret. But people can forget anything, as you must know, if it stays hidden.
― They never truly forget. The worm still eats the apple.
― Mine was a very quiet worm. I was never again tempted to stray.
― And was your union blessed with daughters?
― Three girls. One of hers and two of mine. All wonderful, all still alive. Our eldest is is in her last childhood now, and is to be married next year.
― Praise to the Mother!
― If only I could still say that!
― Poor child! I would not like to live without faith.
― It is knowledge that stands in the way, not faith. The knowledge I have come to confess.
― Can knowledge be a sin?
― I would not have thought so if I had not sinned. But the Church must think differently.
― When has the Church ever spoken against knowledge?
― You cannot speak without revealing the secret. What I do not understand is how you can live with it.
― Believe me, I do not know what you mean.
― Then I shall tell you, and maybe you will confess to me, when there is no more to hide.
― I repeat, I do not know what you mean.
― A shame that you must be a hypocrite. But I suppose you have no choice. We were happy, my guilt was almost forgotten, and the time came for us to choose our professions. She became a nurse, and I became a zoologist.
― A great honour.
― Yes. And I was proud. To be chosen from so many.
― Then I may even know your name. Are you sure you should be telling me this?
― I cannot tell you what I have to say without revealing who I am. And yes, you know my name. There are only three of us, and I am the first amongst them.
― Then you have changed our view of the whole web of life. The theory of evolution by natural selection: a breathtaking revelation of the ways of our Heavenly Mother!
― If you say so. But what of the puzzle my work left untouched? What of our evolution?
― We were created by the Mother of All. That is why we are unique.
― So I thought. But then one of my colleagues observed some interesting behaviour among some kinds of arthropod…
― Oh Mother save us!
― Need I say more? How much do you know? The females sometimes ate the males after mating. She didn't recognise the implications. As I said, I am the first among my colleagues. I think in strange directions. And one day I thought: what if some ate the males before mating? I looked through old observations. The data were there, but no-one had realised what they meant. They had thought they were eating a different species. And they were so like us in so many ways… What are you doing?
― I know who you are. Does it matter if I see you? Or if you see me?
― I confess that I had not expected you to be so beautiful.
― Am I not? And what do you think of my son, here?
― Lovely. Don't do that!
― Take it. Eat it. You have been faithful so long.
― With a Priest of the Mother, in her Holy House!
― You see? You still have some faith.
― Before I committed adultery with a priest, I at least had faith in the Church as a guardian of truth, of morals, of the family.
― And all of that we are.
― That was why I came to you when I found out…
― Found out?
― That no pure marriage can be blessed with children. You must eat a son to have your sons. Through rape or adultery. Fornication, filth. But you must know this. You hear confession. You know what is hidden.
― Yes. We know there is no blessing without sin. Some day maybe we will understand the Mother in this and will understand how to teach it. Until that day we will keep the secret.
― And I must keep it, too?
― No, we shall take this burden from you. Only through faith are we able to bear it. As also the secret of the poisoned son, and many, too many others. Please forgive me. Forgive us.
― I understand, my Mother. Thank-you. Please care for my daughters and my wife.
― But how shall I bear the truth of your death? For none is as beautiful as you were. And your spirit was the purest.