One day, down at a local coffee shoppe, over a few shots of Jolt! Cola, a friend of mine and I came to the sudden realization that we were going to grow up to be dirty old men. We were thrilled. The conversation could not stay away from being perverted and loud, and then the perfect dirty old man walked through the shop, and we realized that was our future.

I want to be a dirty old man. They get to have all the fun, without the legal problems normal men face, because it is acceptable for them to be perverted. I get to make snide comments at girls in short skirts, stare at cleavage through tiny tanktop shirts, and sleep with 20 year old girls. (and geeks shall inherit the earth) The barkeep heard us talking about this, and started laughing his head off, because he could see us as dirty old men.