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How To Pick Up Men

Approach
Find the man you would like to pick up, and walk up to him. Close proximity is absolutely neccesary.

Appearance
When picking up men, you needn't worry about looking your best. You can look like you just woke up, and proceeded to be run over by a truck. Appearance doesn't matter much.

Build
Most men are at least 150 lbs. You can figure out how many kilograms that is. A bit of strength is required to pick up men. If you don't have the required strength, you can practice how to pick up boys, or work out at a gym.

Style
There are a number of different styles you can use to pick up men, and some are much more effective than others.

  • Armpits - Picking up a man by the armpits is most effective when you are considerably taller than him. Otherwise, the feet might drag. This position is uncomfortable for the man, and he might squirm.
  • Hair - Even more painful than the armpit technique, this is not recommended. Especially difficult when the man has short hair.
  • Feet - This technique is most often used by bullies to shake the man and get his money. Your chances of success will be much greater if you are a cartoon character.
  • Cradle - The recommended method, this involves you putting one arm underneath the man's knees, and another behind his back. This same style is often used in carrying new wives over the "threshold."
  • Fireman's Carry (Suggested by tarnar) - This method is allows for long distance carrying, but is difficult to get an unwilling man in to. To perform the Fireman's Carry, hoist the man up on to your shoulders so that he is parallel to the ground (lying down on your shoulder). Watch out: he might squirm!

Improvisation
If you use these tips, you will have the foundation for picking up men, but it doesn't stop here. Each time you pick up a man, you can learn what works well and what doesn't. Try different things, and before long, you'll be able to pick up men like a pro.

Disclaimer: Picking up men should not be a preliminary step to throwing them.