Another day in
Limbo. Been a few since I could get online. So I live on the
couch at the
house I once called home, counting the hours away until I leave. It's been an odd few days. I had my last
poetry reading at
Insomnia. I don't know what I was expecting, but it happened anyways. I got up and read, and halfway through the first
poem, the whole place went quiet (rare at this particular place) As I ended, I was given a grand round of applause, and I got to say a few words about my time here and all that. In a way, it was a good ending to two years of
writing and
performing, but it was bittersweet. Because of the fact that none of the people I wanted there, were there. So besides my own minor gratification, it meant little. So be it.
Nothing much has panned with the Scienta
girl; we never ended up going to that auditing session. Would have been cool, but c'est la vais, right?
At a party
Sunday night, I ran into the
Dark Jester,
Megan's boyfriend. He was privy to the situation with Megan and I before they hooked up, and once I disapeared after the shitstorm with
Windigo and
Marcus, he and Megan hooked up. Needless to say, things were a little tense. With a gallon of cheap merlot coursing through me, I dragged him outside, man to man.
"Sam. Dude. Just wanted to say something."
He looks at me nervously.
"Yeah?"
"All I want to say is, that seeing you and Megan the
other night..shit man, it was just good to see her
happy. I just want you to know I'm happy for both of
you."
An awkward moment of silence, then Sam gives me a sideways hug. And so how it is between men, at it's best.
Last night, Megan come up to me and gives me a slow, sexy hug, sighing in my ear "I want to see you before you leave."
I pull back and look at her.
"You know when I'm leaving."
"I know, I feel bad about not seeing you more..how about
Friday?"
So we make plans for Friday. The fire is still there, a tangable, living thing that twists between our eyes. Yet it stays untouched,
holy, and
wild. We enjoy it and don't go there. But I wonder, is this to be the two year
cock and
heart tease realized? I won't go there, but what if she? And these are the reasons I just want to leave. So, digo, are you coming? At least breathing hard?