Now normally a Google search on this would lead you to a number of tedious websites by self-proclaimed pick up artists who want to rope you into overpriced seminars on neuro-linguistic programming and sell you books with names like "Seduce and Destroy!" or "The Fight Club of Shagging" or "How To Get The Women You Want Into Your Bed Every Time Without Rohypnol." While undoubtedly these books will work for some people, specifically, the sort of people who go out on the pull wearing leather waistcoats and stupid hats and have day jobs as marketrons, my take on them is that they seem to be overegging the pudding rather. In fact, anyone can pick up women as long as they're in reasonable shape and have common sense.
However, for those who still cannot work it out, here is a step-by-step guide to picking up women.
- Approach the woman you would like to pick up.
- Bend your knees and put both arms around her hips. I mean all the way round. You want to try to aim for some sort of a "bear hug" type arrangement here.
- Straighten knees and back. Remember, Safety Bear says always to lift from the knees or you might put your back out - and you will not, repeat, WILL NOT, be able to get compo off her if you hurt yourself thus.
- Congratulations! You have picked up a woman!
Of course, it's not always that easy; for larger than life women you may need a slightly different approach. Please ensure that in this case there is a suitable anchor point for your pulley, and remember to obtain her permission before introducing her to your block and tackle or you might get slapped, spat at, or kneed in the crotch.
(I make no apologies for this writeup. If you use the internet as a guide to pulling girls, you deserve everything you get.)