Philosophical Faculty Redux
A brightly lit
stage, 3 chairs in a triangle, 2 chairs form the
hypotenuse facing the audience, the 3rd chair facing away from the audience behind the two front chairs, forming a triangle with a 90 degree angle pointing towards the back of the chair.
Enter 3 actors. Sex or race of the actors doesn't matter. They wear contemporary, casual clothing.
Actor1 sits (from the audience's view) on the right, Actor2 on the left, Actor3 sits with his back towards the audience on the middle chair.
The actors sit. The lights dim. There are 3 spots on the actors, directly from above.
- Actor1 (who sits with his hands on his thighs, otherwards motionless, saying with a matter of fact voice):" I went to University. I chose a career in Law. Without the necessity of having any redeeming features, a devastating lack of empathy, an unnecessary thirst for power and an endless, cokefueled energy, I have made a fortune writing threatening letters. I feel good about myself and have no regrets about the choice of my career."
- Actor2 (who has his arms folded over his chest and is just as confident and motionless as actor1): "I went to University. I chose a career in medicine. Without the necessity of having any redeeming features, a devastating lack of empathy, an unnecessay thirst for power, I am now a registrar in Accident and Emergency medicine. I see ca 70 patients a day. Most of them are socially deprived, drunk or full of drugs and are obnoxius and violent towards me and my staff, but that's cool. After my shift, I relax with my colleagues and a gaggle of hot nurses in my pub and get legless on a mixture of lager and vodka. I feel good about myself and have no regrets about the choice of my career."
- Actor3 (who has his hands over his face in a gesture of hopelessness and is leaning forward): "I went to university. I chose a career in the humanities. With a great circle of friends at school, a feel for the written word and a thirst for knowledge, I studied linguistics, modernist literature and theatre studies. I excelled at university and now work at the local McDonald's during the day and drive a taxi at night. In my spare time, I write poetry. I don't have any money left for the pub and don't go out due to a lack of funds. There is nothing in my life worth living for. I don't know if I want to continue to live".
- Actor 1 + 2,standing up, facing actor 3 and saying in unisono, with disgust: "Fucking Loser"
Lights out.
The end.