The brewers of Grolsch run a series of memorable TV commercials in
Great Britain. A bunch of clueless (that is to say non-
Dutch) people are making a rush of something and getting it totally wrong; in steps The Guy From The Grolsch Adverts™ to show them that things must be done
slowly. In
Holland, he explains, they wait until everything is just right - "Grolsch: We only let you drink it when it's ready."
For example:
- A bunch of robbers are planning a bank job, but the place hasn't even been built yet; it's just an empty lot. "This bank isn't ready yet!"
- A porn movie is being filmed, but things are clearly being rushed - no one seems to have a clue how these things work. "This blue movie isn't ready yet! Where's this guy's moustache? And why is he actually fixing the fridge?" Our Dutch hero puts them on the right track.
- A wedding. Just as the guests are being asked if there is any reason why this couple should not be married, in storms the Grolsch guy. "Stop! This bride isn't ready yet!" He lifts her bridal veil to reveal a monkey. "She needs to evolve... for at least a few million years. Haven't you guys ever heard of Darwin?" In Holland, of course, they don't rush things like that.
- A gang of toughs is bringing someone in to get him to squeal, but he's telling them where the diamonds are before they've even touched him. "What's with the rush to spill the beans? Let us first rough you up a bit. You never know - you might not crack. In Holland, we brew the Grolsch slowly... to die for." The victim is then set upon with an electrified feather duster.
- Somewhere in the Far East, a brave young man confronts a local warlord, determined to seek revenge for the murder of his father. Unfortunately he hasn't taken time to learn the first thing about martial arts, and the Grolsch guy tells him it's too early. "First you must train with a wise master, paint a fence..."