As Mr. Smith walked into the giant glass building, two men watched on.
"This is it. The moment of truth. Did you tell him?"
"I believe I failed to mention the tests."
"And why was that?"
"I felt it was better that he not know."
"Maybe and maybe not. It doesn't matter now. Nothing left to do but pray."
"Or we could make a wager."
"Which side do you want?"
"5 eons of egg duty says he makes it."
Mr. Smith was ushered into a waiting room that was just as extravagant as the rest of the building. While he was admiring the architecture a little old man in a funny hat walked into the room.
"Do you like our Church?"
"Oh! Oh I'm sorry, I didn't notice you. I'm sorry, what was that?"
"I apologize for startling you. I was just asking if you liked our Church?"
"Oh yes! The building is wonderful! I've only ever driven by it but to see it up close... It's beautiful. Oh yes, where are my manners, I'm John Smith, I'm here for an interview about an accounting position."
"Welcome John! I'm Kevin Vann the Bishop of this church. And I'm actually the one who will be interviewing you. By the way, it's started already."
Panicking, Mr. Smith flattened his hair before bowing while also trying to make a cross. Kevin grabbed his hands.
"Relax John, it was a joke!"
"Oh! You scared me there. I'm sorry about I mean, I must admit I'm a bit nervous Lord Bishop sir."
"Please, call me Kevin. Here, take a seat and relax. The Church only tortures economists."
"Now you're catching on!"
Bishop Vann settled into the seat across from Mr. Smith, a small gold crucifix tumbling out of his pocket.
"Oh! I'm sorry but can I ask you to get that? My back has been a bit stiff lately."
Bishop Vann watched intently as Mr. Smith picked it up off the floor and placed it into his palm.
"Thank you. Now before we start, would you like a glass of water?"
"Yes please! Thank you very much."
Bishop Vann gestured behind him and an altar boy appeared with a tray and a glass of water. Again, Bishop Vann watched Mr. Smith closely.
"That may have been the best glass of water I ever had. Was it some of that Holy Water I keep hearing about?"
"I think you're going to like it here John!"
Both Mr. Smith and the Bishop were visibly more relaxed as they cut into the actual job interview. By the end, both men were talking like old friends and the good Bishop even walked Mr. Smith out himself. With a bounce in his step that only comes from good company, Mr. Smith got into his car and drove home. Two men watched on.
"It's going to feel good having those eons to myself; maybe I'll take on fly fishing."
"Son of a bitch, it worked. It really worked."
"That it did, Beez my friend, that it did. We just fooled He Who Must Not Be Named."
In the Beginning