Oh Lord, the troubles I've seen...
So much for the optimism and happiness of my Meadowlark node. I should have done what the singer did: fly away, so as not to be hurt again. I once said to a friend of mine, "Ain't life grand?" In reply, he said, "Yes, though it can be a hard kick in the privates some times."
My Christianity was stretched to the limit by all of this. ("This" being finding out that my boyfriend has been stringing me along for a week or two while carrying on an affair behind my back.) Anyway, when I confronted him about it, he was really and truly sorry. He didn't want to try to continue our relationship, but he does want to still be my friend.
And I forgave him.
Odds and Ends Gleaned From This Experience
* I've never hyperventilated and gotten tunnel vision before -- what a curious experience.
* I now have a new sense memory to draw upon when necessary on stage.
* I now have a new life experience to draw upon when writing a play.
* However bad I may think my life is right now (cf April 3, 2001), it's not reached Jobian proportions.
* However bad I may think my life is right now, my mother spent a year fighting breast cancer, and never once complained about it.
Hmmm, I'm treating the Daily Log like most people treat God: when times are tough, I node in the daily log; when times are good, the daily log doesn't hear from me.
Guess it's time to live up to Stephen Sondheim's lyric:
Stop worrying where you're going -- move on!
If you can know where you're going
You've already gone.
Just keep moving on.