Does this dress make me look fat? (idea)

Here is the correct response to this question:

1. quickly GLANCE at the woman (Anything more than 3 seconds is too much time)
2. say, "No, dear" and go back to reading your magazine/usenet group/everything node - before both words are entirely out of your mouth.
3. if the woman follows up with "Are you sure?", don't even look back up, just say, "You look nice." If this does not keep you from getting in trouble with your girlfriend/wife... she needs therapy!