It's a ska song. Just one verse, sung twice--once before the instrumental break, once after. The Scofflaws make it great, though: trumpets or trombones blare the distinctive woop! woop! woop! of the Enterprise's siren. A low horn plays the uncanny rumble of the engine room. Orders are shouted to Scotty. The up-tempo portion sounds like a quintessential ska tune or maybe a game show theme song from the seventies. The slow part during the verses is more like a reggae tune--not the kind of tune you'd ordinarily pair with Star Trek lyrics. But until they release a dance remix of the theme to Reading Rainbow about Geordi LaForge, well... this is all you've got. This, and a sad collection of VHS tapes full of priceline.com commercials.


He's got a fine tan shirt with an emblem on the chest.
The interstellar girls all like him the best.
Captain of the crew, and he knows kung fu,
and he did Joan Collins in 1932!
Really just an actor, and a genius to boot,
and he never gets to fire when the enemy shoots.
So he ends each show looking neat and clean
after staring down the mouth of a doomsday machine!
I really like the one where he reads the Constitution
after ending all the fighting in the future revolution:

chorus:
WILLIAM...
SHAT-NER!
WILLIAM...
SHAT-NER!
WILLIAM SHATNER!

voice offstage: "Scotty--we need--more--POWER."

other voice: "I am... KIRON!"

Verse and chorus repeat, then vamp and repeat out.


Published by Brian O'Sullivan (BMI), available on many ska collections, including the Scofflaws' albums Ska in Hi-Fi, and Scofflaws LIVE! Vol. 1. It is the eleventh song on both albums. Permission to use lyrics applied for, not yet received; lyrics comprise less than 250 words.