A sadly misunderstood artform, the Tactical Vomit is a means of staying in the pub and drinking more alcohol than one's maximum capacity usually equips one for while staying relatively sober and retaining the ability to, for example, walk, speak and refrain from dribbling.

It is is inevitable that during some point of an evening's revelry, or a "session" as we seasoned practitioners are wont to refer to it, the drinker, however hardened he may be to his beer, will begin to feel a minor revulsion to the act of picking up his pint and imbibing more liquid.

It is a mistake to think that by acting like a shandy lightweight and either giving up and going home or switching to some unholy alcohol-free brew - such as orange juice or water, both of which are known to be poisonous to the human anatomy containing as they can such evils as "vitamins" or "nutrients" - one can salvage either one's health or one's self-respect.

The only solution in this case is the tactical vomit. Go into the the toilets and make yourself puke. Then wash out your mouth, splash your face with cold water and return to the welcoming embrace of your beloved pint. And the one after. And the one after that.