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I wish I had a pen.

If I had a pen, I'm fairly certain the time would pass more quickly. I could doodle, take notes, perhaps even tap thoughtfully. If I had a pen.

I would have a pen if I had some paper clips. Don't ask me to explain why this is. Long story short, when I had paper clips, I had something with which to pass the time, so I didn't notice the absence of my pen. That's a lot like having a pen. Do you get my meaning? I had this great paperclip. It was textured, presumably the better to adhere to sheaves of paper with. I had bent it into a capital 'L' shape. It was eminently twirlable, and I didn't even need to put it down during brief flurries of typing or mouse usage. I wonder what ever happened to that paper clip. It's probably with the pen that I never had.

I have a highlighter. There are few things on earth for which I could conceive of fewer uses (in my present situation, that is) than a highlighter. It isn't even a pleasant color. It's sort of mauve. Not an annoying, 'I didn't pick this out, the secretary did,' pink, not an angry red, not even a pseudo-important purple, but mauve. Well, I say 'sorta mauve,' because it isn't really even mauve. It's just... well... sorta mauve.

There are napkins behind one of my monitors. Those are for in case I should inadvertently spill a liquid. So I could mob up said liquid, you see?

If I had a pen, I could dial the phone with it. Not that I can't dial the phone sans pen, but there are few things that look cooler than dialing a phone via pen. All the coolest employees are doing it. When dialing with a pen, you can dial thoughtfully, stab angrily, peck searchingly, probe absentmindedly. With fingers, well, you're just dialing a phone. I would be less uncool, if I had a pen.

Oh, wait, there's a pen.