I did not realize how
disconnected I was feeling, until I reconnected.
If you read my most recent poem, you've probably figured out that I was feeling a bit.. off. I seemed a bit less-than-grounded, and just generally a bit erratic. And damned if I could figure out why.
Then I got the brilliant idea to escape for a few hours last evening, and grab Carrie to give her the chance she needed to reconnect to her element. I was intending to just wander around the campgrounds, the woods, etc. while she played with fire, but my Muse had other ideas. Since we were in the campgrounds right next to Duck Creek, I was able to obtain water, and being next to the woods, there were sticks abounding.
Water, dirt, stick. Sounds like a perfect recipe for mud, if I've ever heard one. Carrie was playing with her fire, feeding it with 2001 Federal Income Tax instructions, and I was digging in the dirt, adding water, and giggling hysterically as I splashed mud on my jeans. Trust me, it wasn't long before I lost the stick, and just started playing in the mud with my hands. I molded shapes, played with mud balls, and then flung them at random trees and picnic tables. Tee hee.
Sometime after the sun had set, Carrie and I looked up and realized it was getting late, and that we should go home sometime soon. She helped me rinse the caked-on mud from off my hands, and then we sat by her fire, talking or being silent, petting the random cat who lived in the campgrounds, and looking up to the crystal-clear sky.
There is nothing like looking up to the Universe, to make you realize just how insignificant "real life" really is. Suddenly, the concept of not making it through the nursing program doesn't seem like the complete end of the world. It would be disappointing, but I would survive.
I needed last night, more than I knew. Reconnecting to earth is one of the most powerful experiences for me, and one that I need on a semi-regular basis. Now, if I could just remember that, before I get completely disconnected and stressed...