I don't know. I think that today was o.k. I will propose to my girlfriend, who I sadly admit has only been my girlfriend for near three months. I must say though that we hit it off better than I could have expected. We met eachother and 2 hours later we were sleeping side-by-side in the back of my Toyota Previa, listening to the wind howling outside on the barren rock that is Fort Flagler. Now she will be my wife. I don't know what to say to that. I thought that I would be superpsyched but I'm not. I don't known what I'm feeling...
I just know that I love her with all of my heart, and that without her I never would've gotten through the tough times. You see, two Fridays ago I tried to commit suicide and I couldn't finish the job, because I kept thinking that my beloved Brigid would do the same, if she learned of what I had done. Now I merely have a scar on one wrist to show for it. The thought of her life kept me alive.
What is it that brings people together? What is it that allows to souls to inhabit one body? I don't know what it is, but what I do know is that I like it, and that I will never, so long as I live, stop loving my Brigid. Even when I am so angry that I wish she would die, I still love her. I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it is the one thing that holds people together, for a lifetime of happiness.
Buddha's compassion go with you...