Drunken people can be surprisingly stupid and predictable.
I was running fartlek today and I finished one of my fastest spurts just in front of the students' apartment. There were four guys on a balcony sipping beer and having only towels around their waists. Obviously they were cooling out from sauna. It was -2 degrees Celsius outside.
They were having fun, I guess, and one of them tried to made fun of me:
- You should go and eat some oatmeal cuz ya can't run no more.
I didn't mind them because I'm quite used to people trying to crack jokes about running. However, I slipped back:
- I wouldn't pay a penny for your thoughts, you drunken idiots.
From now on they were playing a different tone in their whistle. Cheerful intoxication changed into aggressive drunkenness.
- Wov, the guy starts to pick our noses, eh!
Technically, I had already passed the building.
- Come here if ya think ya have something to say!
Usually I just ignore these kind of stupid statements but this time I turned back.
- Very well, come down here and lessee who's who.
I never intended to fight. I've never fought. I challenged them only because if they were stupid enough to come out I would just simply go away leaving them standing naked in the snow. The second possibility would be an exchange of insults.
The balcony was in the first floor. And guess what, of course one of them made a cunt of himself jumping down in order to kick the shit out of me. The others were either throwing lousy insults or cheering up their mate. I picked a handful of snow from the street. The guy - drunk and starting to feel the cold in his soles - approached me looking for a fight. There was about 5 meters between us. I was almost choking for laughter:
- Look at you! You're really fuckin stupid!
I threw a snowball hitting his chest. - Hope you don't catch the cold, moron!
- Bye bye, I said turning away escorted by drunken gibberish that I think was the last set of insults.