A couple of
mediocre ideas by a tired man.
Actually I slept quite well; for a long, at least. On Thursday we were in
Bangor. Wonder how many people really know Bangor. We had a wee laugh at this
concept of "
Bangor goes global" when we saw a
graffiti like that.
It was great fun there but my I have a problem with my daily cycle. You see, I'm not able to sleep till late. My inner clock wakes me up around 9ish anyway and I can't really sleep after that unless I really turned my cycle around and I don't want to do that. So I went to bed around 4ish and slept only that 5 hours.
For my surprise, Friday wasn't too bad but the Simpsons double bill was cancelled thanks to m*f*ing election results. They really don't know how to prioritize. So I thought to go to run 40 minutes ahead of my timetable. After the bog I put my running gear on and rested in a bed "just a wee second". That second was 3 and half hours.
I've lost my point, sorry about that. One of the ideas was this:
Q: Why day logs tend to be depressive?
A: If you're happy you don't run to a computer for a wu.
Or maybe I'm not just geek enough! You see, it was found out that my nerdiness reaches only the level of 24%.
Other idea was about drugs; presumably about ganja. I felt a wee bad because of my latest wus. Now, I don't know how to prioritize: The greater reason for my bad-feeling is the fact that I'm sometimes too m*f*ing honest, or should I say plain-spoken when it comes to myself. I don't like talk nasty things about other people, especially behind their backs. Gossiping ain't for me. But I think I don't have that level of instinct of self-preservation that the prevailing distorted society assumes/requires. At least I lose the instinct once a while.
I should change the subject. Thinking these things does nothing but makes me angry. (I did not write even quarter of the thoughts I brainstormed about this issue.. They are just too sad.)
It was that I don't want to encourage anyone to do drugs. I've seen they may cause nasty things. The same is the case with alcohol. Some of my relatives had suffered from alcoholism.
The paragraph just above is almost exactly what I meaned by the lack of self-preservation. Now I was able to avoid names but often it goes into more detail. I think about relationships, both general level and one particular personal case near past. Sometimes I wish to be someone else. Having more social skills -- not really. Hypocrisy is not for me. It's fucking wrong hypocrisy sometimes pays. (Note the synonymization!)
Well, off to the Old Museum. There should be a group exhibition titled "The Value of Straight Thinking" and later at the evening physical theatre titled "Cracked" that tells about the people who were mentally ill in Ireland at 40's and 50's.
I'm well-sleeped, saw one odd nightmare though, and I try hard to forget what I was writing above. Ignorance is bliss.
And finally the happy end: In Bangor happened something that increased my self-esteem. I've been quite comfortable with that lately anyway but it's always nice to know that you're not the greatest fuckhead around.
Ps. Very characteristic, but the happy end above reminded me about things that are going to happen within a week i.e. I'm moving away. I don't want to ruin happy endings and therefore let's consider this bit as a post-end story.. So: Think that you have just found out what I did above. Now, you're a non-fuckhead who's not going to see the people who think about you like that at least for a half year maybe, and probably, even more. I hate that.