Okay guys, this is what I learned is proper protocol when I was sent to *rolls her eyes*charm school. Being the daughter of a high ranking Air Force officer I was submitted to this torture three times in my life. I was a reluctant student to say the least.
The lady signals the gentleman that she would like the door opened for her by pausing, looking at the gentleman and smiling. The gentleman thus has a pleasantly clear signal that she would love to have the door opened for her! Of course then the lady is to thank him verbally in a pleasant tone of voice. If I am rushed at the door I smile in surprise and profusely thank the door holder. Using common sense, it is reasonable to conclude, that they wish to be helpful. Feminism is mistaken to think that these people intend in some way to be rude.
I enjoy a man opening the door for me, it becomes a pleasant and looked forward to event, rather than a battle of wills.