Point Ashley

Yeah, I guess we killed him. Teenagers on a secluded lake. Everyone paired up except the geeky loser. He flips out, and it’s him or us. Accident? Self-defense? Another beer?

Yeah, thanks. But c’mon, he was a tubby little greasebag. He wasn’t scary or anything. What happened?

Well, his parents had this cabin on the lake, right? So we try and get along with the guy, pal around, make jokes. Call him Ashlee Simpson and Marge. Kiddin’ around. But then he starts acting strange. Like, I mean, more strange. So Saul gets all ninja and breaks into Ashley’s room, checks his computer and finds this web site for losers where he’s been blogging. Hang on, I can show you on my Blackberry. Look:

(idea) by ashley (7.7 years) C! info: 1 C!s C? given by: jbird Sat Jun 26 1999 at 6:50:52

I've had it with these bastards and their aren't-we-funny humour. I've had it with their pretty girlfriends and "Oh Ashley thanks for letting us stay" and "Oh Ashley thanks for the beer" and then they laugh at the stupid jokes and whisper and play musical sleeping bags with the meatheads. So, tomorrow I’m going to do it. I’ve got it hidden away and I’m going to use it. They’ll be sorry then. They’ll beg for mercy.

We found out later that “it” was his Dad’s Old Spice. Kind of like Axe Body Spray. But we thought he had a gun or worse. So long story short, the girls lure him down to Makeout Point, we jump him, he slips, falls, and drowns. The coroner rules tragic accident, the parents move away, we end up buying the cabin, and here we are on Ashley Point watching the sun set. Another beer?

Yeah, beer me.