a Sunday inside, even when I know I should do otherwise

I'm processing a triple-helping of change, making me a bit adrift, often needy & coy, a bit disorganized in thoughts and actions; if I hadn't been so we never would have met. But that's another story.

I'm normally a person of strength & conviction. I inspire the project, get things off the ground, make the phone calls & launch the ship in spite of the zillion obstacles presented by anything worthwhile. At present I'm stuck, paralyzed by option anxiety; and moving to the next level held back by fear. Fear of making the wrong decision, the ill-timed or misinterpreted remark; being silent when I should have spoken. This imbalance applies to everything: work/making a living, relationships/all kinds, creative/personal life.

My internal support mechanism, tried & true, tells me these times are short-lived, painful. I pride myself on having the courage to take intelligent risks, living a truly interesting life, being the right person in the right place at the right time. Before long I'll return to my usual state of dynamic creative confidence and (often) sickening sense of optimism.

So the above are some thoughts, a small explanation about me. Told because you're new to my life, and I value the time we spend together.