I cross a sunny lawn and approach a patio where tens of young men wearing only
thongs lounge
suggestively across the cool marble. Some wear laurels, with
classical Greek implications, and all are homosexual, each
intertwined with the other. Among them is my friend D---.
An
older man sits in a chair above all this young flesh, watching. He's a professor, these are his students. And he's being sensationalistically interrogated by a
television news crew. The female interviewer is outraged by the
spectacle of sex and even, considering the age gap between professor and students,
pedophilia. The professor states that the project/display/
orgy in question had been his students' idea.
I'm watching the news crew from a distance, annoyed by their uninformed coverage. The reporter is very small, the size of a
Lego figurine. I consult a stuffed
baby doll on whether there would be any repurcussions if I killed the reporter. Lego figurines don't shed any
blood, and I reason that this is the only consideration differentiating between
destruction and
murder. The baby doll agrees. So I place the Lego reporter in front of the news van. She's run over and crushed.
Exhillarated by the destruction, I wonder how small and unbiological an otherwise animate object has to be in order for me to be allowed to
torture it with
impunity. My mind's eye sees a bleeding
Raggedy Ann, some organs, and a pair of
butcher knives.
The baby doll and I are sitting on the top of a bunk bed, and I'm trying to construct an
alliance. He has
big, bright eyes and
sharp little teeth and I'm thinking he'll be neccessary protection in this
brutal doll world. I'm explaining to him
If someone tries to hurt you, I'll protect you. And if someone tries to kill me..?"
"I'll help them," he
coos. He looks like my littlest brother minus 6 years.
I'm terrified, wondering how long I'm safe. So I push the baby doll off the bed. He grabs the blanket which has draped from the bed onto the floor and pulls himself back up to where I am, like a
pirate climbing the
rigging of a ship. I know I'm much bigger than he is but it's still a
struggle for me to push him away and
he's going to bite my arm...