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hmm... I was pretty drunk when I wrote this writeup. This makes the SPAG pretty impressive, but nonetheless you should probably take it with a pinch of salt.

Admittedly, I don't have that much experience, but I'd have been glad to know what I'm about to say a while ago.

First, choose your target. You most likely aren't going to meet your soulmate at random, in a club or wherever. I'll assume you're looking for a girl. Just choose someone who looks like they are alone, and maybe a little lonely. You might want to wait a few minutes to make sure that they are indeed alone. Ideally, wait until they have only about one eighth of thier drink left; this will make the next bit a lot easier.

Walk over to them, smile, and say "Hello, can I buy you a drink?". If they say no, say "Ah well, I had to ask". Take a step back the way you came, smile and say "Bye", and walk away. Do something different for five to ten minutes, then repeat the process with someone else.

That's not to say she will refuse. It's just in case. If she agrees to your offer of a drink, get her drink, and one for yourself. If it's at a bar with seats, take a seat next to her, lean partially over the bar and attaract the bartender's attention. If she's at a table, go over to the bar, and walk back with her drink in one hand and yours in the other. Put it on the table in front of her, say "Here you are", and take a seat next to her.

Now choose an interesting topic of conversation, but not one on which you can beome too polarized. "So, how did you come to be here?" would be a good start. "What do you think about the recent presidential election, then?" would not. Also, try to avoid questions that can't be answered yes or no. This is mainly because she might say "No.", which would make continued conversation hard.

Listen to what she says. Ask questions, but not annoying ones. Don't act dumb, but don't act smart either. Look her in the eyes. Think before you speak. Also, since you will probably never meet again, feel free to deviate slightly from the truth; it hurts no-one, but can make conversation a lot easier. Example:

You: So, how did you come to be here?
Her: I've been coming (sp?) here for a while. I'm here with my friend Tracey. She's over there with her boyfriend. (points)

"I normally go to (other club). Last time I came here, the music wasn't that good, but I'm liking it more now. What do you think of it?"

would be a superior reply to

"Me too. Coming here, that is."

If the conversation ever lulls, avoid any temptation to look around. You chould be almost transfixed, but not totally. Look into her eyes. Compliment her, but choose a particular thing. If she's really nice, but not the most attaractive woman in the room, don't say she is. I don't know why, but it's like the 'Do I look fat in this?' thing. She will doubt you, which is bad. A good example could be:

"You have the most beutiful eyes I have ever seen."

Let it sink in for a few (i.e. one or two) seconds. Then ask her to dance. If you can't dance, before enacting the suggestions in this guide, go out and watch other people dance. Copy what other people do. Try a bit for yourself if you like. Nobody is looking at you, they're too busy wondering if you're looking at them. Just dance; it won't hurt you.

At the end of the evening, ask for her number; Don't try to get her in bed on the first evening (Unless, or course, you want to!). It's best to have a Biro with you to note it down on the back of your hand. Don't keep a notepad, that would just be silly. Don't call her the VERY NEXT MORNING; you don't want to seem desperate. Wait one or two days, then call her in the early evening, maybe around six thirty PM, when she may well be home, then invite her out the next day.

I should add these instructions aren't absolute. Vary them. And don't be discouraged if you don't bed every woman you meet. I certainly don't. And enjoy yourself; nobody looses anything from talking.