In the spirit of the
Cougar vs. Bear argument viciously mused by
Phil Giroux and
Glen Humplick on
The Tom Green Show, I Present to you,
Chopstick vs.
Fork. Which is the
more better eating utensil? No one knows for sure, that is why I created this node. I hope that you
everythingians will use this node as a
repository for your arguments on this subject. And now I give you
my thoughts on this
subject:
In a fight
Theoreticaly if fork and chopstick got in a fight (You got wasabi in my mashed potatoes! You got mashed potatoes in my wasabi!), chopsticks would win hands down by sheer numbers alone. Two against one, strength in numbers. Before fork is able to throw the fist punch, those two chopsticks would be going kung pao style crazy on its metalic ass. Chopsticks 1, Fork 0
Now in a real fight, used as weapons, a fork wielding thug would have the advantage. Sharp prongs would readily pierce any unprotected flesh. Chopsticks would just break applied to one's body in a quick strong fashion. Chopsticks 1, Fork 1
As tools
The ass end of a fork can serve as a screw driver, but only for really large screws, so it's basically useless. Now chopsticks, are very useful. Need to pick up or place something delicate (screws, adhesive jobs etc.)? Chopsticks can easily do that. Chopsticks 2, Fork 1
As Eating Utensils
Now this is a really sensitve area. Forks are multifunction tools. They can cleave, pierce, and easily lift most food items into a mouth. In extreme situations forks can even act as spoons (eating a bowl of wheaties with a fork). On the other hand, chopsticks are also extremly usefull at the table. They can easily shovel mass quantities of food into one's mouth really quickly. They can also pierce troublesome rations and can be used to grasp a wide variety of multi-sized things. In this case, I'll have to side with the fork. It's a better cutting tool. Chopsticks 2, Fork 2
Conclusion
By their features alone, chopsticks and forks are essentialy equal. But because I am biased, I'll have to side with chopsticks. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that chopsticks will get you laid (they are soooo trendy!)
end transmission