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To Whom It May Concern,

I am afraid to start writing because it is much too late and I am much too tired. If I were to start writing, I may not stop in time to sleep. Such an event would result in me not having enough energy for work tomorrow. However, if I don't write, I will have thoughts and ideas that will tear at my insides and eat me alive tomorrow while I work alone in the cooler. If that were to happen, the friction of those thoughts swarming inside me might generate enough heat to have a negative effect on the frozen foods I work with all day. I certainly don't want to upset my boss. Let me be clear: the only reason I decided to inform you that I chose to write tonight, is so that I don't lose my job. 

Sincerely,

Mulroy