It's been awhile since I've written a daylog. Nothing really preventing me from doing so, I just never really had anything to write about. That's actually been a good summation for the last three months of my life: "nothing to write home about."
For the better part of three months solid I've been living on one, perhaps two meals a day- shopping myself out as a freelance web designer and having very little success. So far I've gotten one client, who's all paid up, but it's been a month and a half since he's sent me any content to actually complete the work. So that job is still in limbo. The rest of my time was spent at Cafe Coco, working at home with 3D Studio Max, sleeping and looking for the occasional cash-paying odd job to put a little food in my tank and gas in my stomach (yes, I said that right). While the web site I was hired to work on hasn't progressed much, I am happy to report that my 3D modeling skills are much improved. I've begun to work away from modeling and started focusing on texturing and lighting- two very important elements in the 3D arena. I'm getting better.
But creating better-than-average 3D starships doesn't pay the rent, y'know? So I broke down and finally resolved to find a job. But what to do? Farm myself as a 3D modeler? Nope. While showing promise, I'm still not yet skilled enough to merit an actual job as a modeler- my portfolio is still too small and specialised and if I tried to pursue a career in the 3D market now, I'd likely get laughed out of every place I applied to. Web design? Uhm... no. I'm getting burnt out on that, to be honest. No more than absolutely necessary, please. Radio DJ? Been there, done that, no more for me- plus, I only have a non-commercial FCC license and don't have the time or money to get a full FCC license that would allow me to work on the normal airwaves. And I sure as hell didn't want to do anymore movie theater crap- I'm done with that for good. And I would rather starve to death before working alongside teenagers again, so that meant that video stores, fastfood joints, resturants, record stores and any other kind of "dead-end job" was out of the question.
So that left my options a little narrowed. What hadn't I done yet? What sort of employment had I not yet explored? Then it hit me: I wanted some new experiences that were utterly unique. I put on the ol' Thinking Cap and finally came up with an answer.
I am now working as a bouncer at a strip club- Deja Vu, to be precise.
I am 5'10", weigh 140 pounds and have a fairly friendly demeanor. I am, by no means, an intimidating person at first sight. That said, woe be unto the idiot that tries to injure my friends or cause general mayhem in my presence- to such individuals I am patently not a "nice guy." Point in fact, I turn into quite a dangerous person under such circumstances. It has been more than a decade since I've really gotten into a fight. I've had 6 years of Tai Chi training (which is, mostly, a "healing" art that can be used in some unfriendly ways, when pressed), but that was also more than a decade ago. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if you knew me, I would be the last person you'd expect to see working as a bouncer in a strip bar. Nevertheless.......
Let me tell you something: this job is not at all what you might think it is. We do not spend all our time sitting back and ogling the naked chicks who're dancing their tails off. We stroll around almost constantly to make sure that the girls are safe, that their dances are counted accurately (for closing time, so that the "house" doesn't get ripped off) and that the customers behave like civilized people- despite the copious amounts of liquor which gets brought into the joint (BYOB, my friends- we don't sell it... but there's a liquor shop just around the block which does). Strip club bouncers are always on the move.
What's more is that we see so much nudity that we don't even really see it anymore. We're too busy trying to figure out if the girl dancing in that booth who has light brown hair with blonde highlights and a rather spectacular tribal tattoo above her derrier is Bunny or Summer or Michelle or whoever. We're also paying attention to the customer, making sure that he's not letting his hands wander in places where they shouldn't be. Not to mention keeping an eye out for any hands with big black X's on them which might be alcoholic beverages- naughty-naughty, no under-age drinking, please. With all of that grabbing our attention who has the time to take in the scenery??? Just the same, however, even after the second night there, it's gotten to the point to where, big or small, flat or round, short or tall, hot or not, it's just another nekkid girl and that's as far as it goes.
Some folks complain all the time about certain girls at strip clubs- how they are bitches or sluts or skamps... I can't speak for the customers, but I gotta say: the girls treat us bouncers like we're gold. As well they should. Without us, they'd have a hard time. Nuff said.
Tonight, my second night on the job, we kicked out a fat drunk. Got in the way of the servers. Got a little too "friendly" with one of the dancers. Became belligerent. Cussed in the head bouncer's face when he was asked politely to move along. Got summarily bounced. Literally. Fat drunk guys bounce when they get thrown out of an establishment. Not "splat." Not "thud." A little bit of both, though, with a slight "boing" to it. Funny and sad at the same time. The damn fool had the temerity to get up and pretty much ask for more of the same once he was outside. After eating a few mouthfuls of gravel, however, he was convinced to leave peacefully.
During all of this I was inside, counting dances and trying to keep the peace inside (gawkers exist on the freeways, but the true rubber-necker is discovered in a strip bar, where he/she will stop looking at nekkid chicks just to see who was the dumbass). I did not participate in the fun. Didn't want to. Tai Chi is fairly useless on drunk fat people who sway more than they lunge. First rule of combat: know your limitations and do not deviate from them. Deviate from your limits and down that path lies an ass-whuppin'.
Yes, indeed. I have found the right job- a job most guys would love to have. I'm gettin' a whole new world of experiences. But there's a cost.
I've had sex all of once in the last three years. Sad, but true. And here I am, working around beautiful, naked women all night long (8PM-5AM weekend, 7PM-3AM weekdays). I can kiss my libido goodbye. Then there's the whole "idolotry is forbidden unto you" rule that us Baha'is have to be mindful of- I work in a frickin' den of idolotry. I am single, unfettered and strictly adhere to my religious beliefs as much as I am able. This job is going to tax the hell out of my conscience, yes indeed-y.
I just hope that these new experiences will prove useful sometime down the road- perhaps in a story or two. Wish me luck, cuz I'll need it.