I've come to the realization that negativity is like some sort of strange disease that spreads with words, faster than actions. People with a poor outlook on life or deficient disposition spread it faster than anyone else. Whine, whine, whine; bitch, bitch, bitch; moan, moan, moan. We all have hard times. That's almost a cliché, but it's true. There is absolutely nothing new out there to complain about, even this. It's all been said and done to someone before, at one time or another, and in more interesting ways, too. Just once I'd like to have someone catch me flat-footed.

"My arm dropped off yesterday because of my job at the power plant- too much radiation in one day, I guess. Too bad I get paid in pecans, or I'd be able to afford hiring a doctor to reattach it."

If you're going to complain to me, at least surprise me. Tell me how your ex-girlfriend dropped you so she could have one lustful, sordid night with Earnest Borgnine or Roseanne Barr. But don't be trite, either. If I wanted trite and synthetic, I'd watch Jerry Springer for a month- then my cup runneth over (why do people say "runneth" instead of "runs?" Don't pretend to me that it's some homage to Biblical literature- there's too many Jim Bakers out there for that to hold any water).

I really don't mind people coming to me with their problems. Really. I mean, everybody has problems. So hearing about someone else's woe is only par for the course. What bothers me is that 90% of those people who complain do so as if their troubles are unique. Hitler hated his mom; Nietzsche had a bone or two to pick with God; J.P. Morgan hated people in general. History is rife with common problems. You don't have to look very far, either. Napoleon contracted syphilis; Columbus was thought a fool by his own men (and nearly everyone else- including Queen Isabelle of Spain); DaVinci was largely ignored during his life; Nostradomus (if you believe in him, which I personally don't) was denounced as a heretic and wizard for his visions and locked away in a remote monastery). Ad naseum. You think you got the shitty end of the stick from your teacher? Big deal! So did Einstein- Nikolai Tesla, too.

Don't misunderstand me; we humans need to complain. It's as natural a reaction as saying "I'm fine" when someone asks how you are, even when you aren't. It's knee-jerk response. But to act like you're the only one? Pish-tosh! You are unique, your problems aren't. You've seen one wreck, you've seen 'em all. Another cliché, I know, but we're all human wrecks. It's the train wrecks that make the papers, but twisted metal is twisted metal, no matter who or what was involved. Learn to see past the wreckage and look at it for what it is: life.

My advice on how to change your perspective: Stop complaining about things that we've already heard about a hundred times in different variations. Stop wasting your breath and our time; we've heard it already! (even this)