What better example could there be of the creeping cancer that is Heritage Britain? The gratuitous Olde Worlde spelling tells you everything you need to know.

You are a tourist mark. Culture only exists as a means to sell scones with clotted cream.

"Historic Visitor Attractions" like Stratford (Shakespeare) or Howarth (Charlotte and Emily Bronte) are drowning in a sea of tea shops. There are some streets that only contain tea shops. OK, that's not quite true, I was forgetting the gifte shoppes.

These tea shops represent the idea that Britain is finished, that all we can do is milk the last drops of the past. They embody defeat, bitterness, despair.

Olde English Tea Shoppes make me want to emigrate.