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My phone's ringing. Why are you ringing? Oh, it's you, alarm, thank you, I'm awake. What time is it? 8 o'clock... too early when it's a holiday, and you don't get enough sleep as it is.

My phone's ringing. Again. Why do you ring now, phone? I accept the call. The familiar three-tones rit my eardrum and I realise who Private Number is - my girlfriend. Always one to prank me, especially after sending a text message. That must mean I've missed one somewhere...

Oh, hell

My message inbox is full. Figures; I have a habit of saving every even slightly important text I get, only deleting it to make space for one in even greater favour. Normally if I had received a new message, it would simply pop up and say "No space for new messages". This is not the text that is greeting me.

My phone's ringing. Please don't hang up, please don't hang up. A response! You're unwell? I can't come over? Sorry to hear that. Get well soon.

Well, that screws up my day. And it's only 9:30...