Apparently, time passes more quickly than I realise.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm here and writing this to be honest. A distraction is my only reasonable explanation - I'm supposed to be designing myself business cards right now, but have hit a combined creative and technical wall, and out of the blue decided to see what's happening in e2 land. Perhaps it's the Damien Rice playing, triggering some nostalgic centre in my mind.

Augustine has messaged me. 'Four years and three months since the last Orpheum writeup. Not sure when the last time someone urged you to come back to us was, but here's another prod.' Actually, you're the first. And if you asked me when the last time I wrote was, 4 years and 3 months would not have been my answer. I probably shouldn't be surprised though - that message was sent to me in April, and I've only just come across it now. I can still remember the thrill of finishing a writeup, and hitting 'submit' (or stumbit), then constantly refreshing the page waiting for votes, comments, anything. I guess things are different these days, to have 7 month old messages unread.

Perhaps time doesn't so much pass more quickly now, as it has a different sound, colour, taste. For the first time in 5 years or so, my homenode picture is new. He's my world. 4 months on from his birth, and it seems like an eternity ago and yesterday. And every night I sleep knowing that when I go into his room first thing in the morning, he'll look at me and smile. There's not so much room for doubt in life when you realise that someone's relying on you - completely and utterly - not to fuck up.

So Augustine, here's to breaking the drought, and while it may not be four years and 3 months until my next contribution, there's a chance it could be. Life moves on, and I'm not entirely sure I recognise the person who wrote most of my contributions here. I miss him sometimes...but then I blow raspberries on my son's tummy, and he laughs with a completely unadulterated joy that only a baby can possess. And I wonder what all the angst was about.