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Then some space-folk arrived,

And they snatched him through time,

They took him far into the future.

Mark the Kramer did not fret,

Though he broke a wee sweat,

And soon all the aliens needed sutures.

They made him compete,

And it was quite a treat,

In the intergalactic arena.

Though the cheering was loud,

Turned his back to the crowd,

And, oh, then if only you'd seen it!!

With his axe in his hands,

He charged out from the stands,

To fight creatures from all different planets

And though fierce they may be,

None could stand against he,

Who had come from from a land hewn in granite.

So the contests raged on,

And he won every one,

Leaving foes lying bloody and gory.

He left most of them dead,

With a blow to the head,

'cept the dragon from Rigel Centauri

For the dragon he thought

Like a horse could be taught

So he wrestled and grappled and pinned it.

And when he let it up

It was tame as a pup

And he'd done what was needed to win it.

When he'd won all the fights,

They gave him a return flight,

But discovered he'd only got meaner.

In the fighting he'd learned,

Just how keenly he yearned

For the land where the forests are greener.

They returned him apace

To his own time and place,

To the fields where the Brits he'd been slayin'

But the English all fled

When they lifted their heads

To see Mark the Kramer paradin'!!

For he rode on the back

Of a beast of attack,

A dragon from Rigel Centauri.

And this alien beast,

On their skulls it did feast,

So what more can I tell of this story?

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