My mother was upset. We had expected to spend some
time together for the first time in a while -- and then I was suddenly called back home. And it was her
birthday soon.
So I think, like the good first born that I am, that it would be nice to stroll down to the card store and get a little something for her to either send through the mail or present to her when we did get a chance to meet again.
So, ok, look, I walk into the store and all I really want is a tasteful blank card, just something that has a pretty picture on the outside and an envelope. I was NOT thinking, "Gee, what I could really use is a Happy Birthday Mom Because I Missed You-Very Much And I'll Be Happy To See You Soon card, yeah . . ."
But the surprising thing was how many people HAD walked into a card store and said, "Gee, what I could really use is a {foo} card, yeah . . .," and then gone and told Hallmark about it because there were cards for events in my life that I could never imagine happening:
- Happy Birthday.
- Happy Birthday to a Son/Daughter/Grandson/Granddaughter/Nephew/Niece/, Father/Mother/Grandmother/Grandfather/Aunt/Uncle, Friend/"Loved One"/Boss/Employee.
- Happy Wedding/Bris/Confirmation/Birth/Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
- Sorry, Missed You, Please Forgive Me, Just to Say Hi.
- Condolences.
- Condolences for the loss of a Mother/Father/Aunt/Uncle/Son/Daughter/ --
Can you believe that? Condolences for the loss of a SON or DAUGHTER? I could not imagine being so devoid of empathy for someone's loss of a child that I would pay Hallmark $2.99 to express sympathy on my behalf.
The point is that anything worth saying you will do fine in saying on your own, and it will mean so much more to whoever you're saying it to if you just let Hallmark mind its own business.
So please, next time you feel the urge to reach for the column marked "I'm Sorry That Your Wisdom Tooth Surgery Was Performed by an Expatriated Burmese Shoemaker in Hiding (Religious)," just buy a blank card - you'll make someone much happier.