A Ballad for Wildlife Treatment Crew, with all respect to Disney and one of his most dastardly divas, Ursula.
Moles, deer, tweets, reptiles
That's what I do
It's what I live for
To help unfortunate wildlife in distress
Poor animals with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I've worked on kitties
And I've handled every class and breed of bitch
But I've found that since those days
I've had to make a change
From vaccines, diarrhea, and the itch
To this
Unfortunately this path's a little tragic
But a challenge that I just cannot resist
And dear noders, please don't laugh
I'm learning on behalf of the orphaned, pet-attacked and dispossessed
Pathetic
Poor unfortunate squirrels
Untamed, untreed
This one keeps on getting thinner
I can't tell if it's a girl
But can I help them?
We shall see
These poor unfortunate squirrels
They bite. They poo.
People flock up to the front desk
Crying "Help! Do it for free!"
And we help them... or try to.
Now it's happened more than once
I've felt like quite the dunce
And the creature ended up a little cold.
No, I'm not a doctor yet
But I may be the best bet
For these poor unfortunate squirrels
Most keep their limbs, their fuzzy face
And I've learned to overestimate body language
You never like to hear a lot of chatter
A bird who keeps on flapping is a chore
Raptors much prefer for you to never say a word and reptiles need a heater on the floor
Okay, so I can't prescribe a lot of medications
Some injuries will heal up on their own
For orphaned birds and coons and fawns, who need feedings all at dawn
your biggest ally is a rehabber on the phone
For those poor unfortunate squirrels
I'm the head
I'm first choice
I'm a very busy woman but for hours of my day
I play doctor, but
They're not toys.
These poor unfortunate squirrels
It's sad. They're cute.
So I spend my free time learning things
To help to keep them whole
Read a book and go to rounds and keep my phone 'cuz I'm on call
For flocks and herds and nests and ponds and pests
I want to treat them all...
These poor
unfortunate
squirrels