Hooray! The troops are in Baghdad! The people cheer, the troops smile!
I imagine Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (Iraqi information minister in severe denial) is in a room somewhere with a psychiatrist, being shown a picture of a US tank, shaking his head, screaming "No! No! They do not exist! Fairy tales! Lies!"
Hooray! A big statue of Saddam is toppled! Again! (there's like, thousands of 'em)
Bizarrely, today's media seems to have a foot fetish. Again and again, we are told that crowds threw their shoes at posters of Saddam - apparently, throwing shoes or hitting things with shoes is "a serious insult in the Arab world". Today's Metro mentions this on page 2, then on page 3 it reminds us that hitting things with shoes is "an insult that carries particular resonance in the Arab world". Also on page 2, when the statue has fallen, it says "the shoes come off again". Just in case we don't get it, there's a big picture of Iraqis hitting the fallen statue with shoes. So there you have it, next time anyone from "the Arab world" hits you with a shoe, it doesn't mean he likes you.
Hooray! Over a thousand innocent Iraqi civilians killed! Sorry, I mean liberated!
Hey, what about these supposed weapons of mass destruction? Wasn't that the main reason for starting this bullshit war? If we gave a shit about the Iraqi people, wouldn't we have done something sooner? Like not selling him the weapons and chemical shite in the first place? Hello! Paging Dr Common Sense! Dr Common Fucking Sense, please pick up a white courtesy telephone!
Hooray! Ali, a 12 year old boy, has his arms blown off, receives horrific burns, and has his father, brother, and pregnant mother killed! He wanted to be a doctor, but now he wants to die! But hey, at least he's free! Free to have a miserable life without his family! Free, I tells ya! Free!
I want Saddam dead or in jail as much as anybody, the man's a demented monster who's a bastard to his own people. But you know, there were other paths we could have taken, that didn't involve killing and maiming the poor bastards we're supposed to be liberating. Again, wasn't this supposed to be about all these weapons he was supposed to have? Where are they, then? Sure, I know that war is hell, and there will be casualties no matter what we do to prevent them. Er, like, that's why I was against the war in the first place. Fucking *duh*, you know? Saying "hey, be against the war, fine, but let's look after the Iraqi people now" is also conveniently ignoring the fact that most people who protest against war also want decent treatment for oppressed people around the world, but we're just ignored by our governments in that regard too - unless there's oil in them there hills. And talking to me like I'm some stupid, misguided fool who just needs the facts of the big ole world explained to him is just going to piss me off. I know it's not *just* about oil, I'm not fucking stupid. But I know it's definitely *not* about liberating the Iraqis, or finding these fantasy weapons of mass nothingness.
I'm glad that the war seems to be over. I hope we really can give a better life to the survivors. I hope everything turns out great, that I'm totally wrong, and it all comes up roses. I really do. Those of you who have suggested that I take pleasure in the deaths of our own troops, or support Saddam, are missing the point in a staggeringly childish way. I don't want to say I told you so. I want it not to happen in the first fucking place. And no, neither side should resort to name calling - but come on, let's face it, Bush is a chimp who can barely string a sentence together, and the world went mad the day he became leader of the most powerful nation on the planet. The warmongering hawks who tell him what to do must have shit their pants and thought it was Christmas when he fell into office.
So if any of you pro-war people can look me in the eye and tell me, with a straight face, that 1,252 innocent Iraqi lives, 5,300 of their troops, 130 of our troops, and 12 year old Ali's arms, family and dreams are a price worth paying, then you, sir or madam, are a heartless fuckpig, and no better than the tinpot dictator you want deposed.