I was attending my first series of advanced electronics courses after my Navy boot camp was complete when I was introduced to Mariah. The Naval Training Center in Millington, Tennessee was a wasteland of thousands of horny guys and few women. A classmate of mine, a cocky Marine who was so smooth he could talk the Wolfman into wearing a flea collar, was hanging out near the women's barracks one Friday afternoon. I stopped to chat with him for a bit, and he told me he was working on getting the skirt off of a tall blonde chick. I was immediately jealous, since I had a penchant for tall blondes and the only action I had seen since joining the military involved no other persons.

I was curious, so I asked if he minded if I waited to view the golden-tressed beauty. My friend was all of five-foot-four, and I just wanted to see them together for a good laugh.

"No problem, you can be my witness that PFC Devil Dog scored yet again," he boasted. "If you can believe it, I'm actually helping her with her basic electronics courses."

The Marine and I were both in the Advanced First-Term Avionics course, and had previously graduated from the basic electronics course. I breezed through, since I had an extensive background in electronics. Devil Dog barely passed.

"Well, you're just the milk of human kindness, helping out a poor, lost soul who happens to be tall and blonde," I said. "I wonder if she knows you're just trying to get in her Hello there!"

A tall, attractive blonde woman was approching from behind the Marine. She stood six feet tall and had the most piercing blue eyes I had seen in many a day. She had short, styled blonde hair and was wearing a white dress that accentuated her figure. I have to admit I was staring in a most rude fashion, and she greeted my friend while still looking at me. I was instantly attracted to her, and it went beyond the dearth of sexual activity in my recent history. She was a genuinely beautiful woman.

After an awkward minute of silence, I realized I was still staring at her as if she were dressed as a Valkyrie and had flown in on a Pegasus. I snapped my jaw shut with an audible click and noticed I was blushing. She was still looking at me, and she was actually smiling. She seemed to find me interesting, which was not lost on my friendly Marine, whose camoflaged uniform had made him disappear in her glow. He turned and gave me the friendly Please kindly FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW look. I apologized for intruding, stammered an introduction to her, and told my friend I would be over at the base club. I left quickly, my feet acting of their own volition since my mind was otherwise occupied.

Hours later, I was doing my typical outstanding job of playing pool poorly when she walked up to me. She had remembered my name, and said that Devil Dog could not explain to her satisfaction how transistors worked. We left together to work on electronics. I was a pretty decent teacher, and I had her up to speed with her electronics course within two hours. Another two hours passed as we talked about ourselves. Two hours after that we were making love.

We spent the rest of that weekend less than an arm's length apart. On Monday, my Marine pal told me flat out I was an asshole for even being within one hundred yards when he was trying to score. All she would talk about was me, so he knew his chances were slim for getting her in bed. He told her I had the best grades in our electronics classes, and that she should go see me at the base club.

Well, every weekend Mariah and I would rent a room at the little ratty Millington motel down the street from the base. She was a very sexual person, and we'd spend most weekends sans clothing and ordering in food. This was quite an expense for a Petty Officer 3rd Class. Luckily I didn't blow all my money on cigarettes and beer, but the drain on my resources was substantial.

Mariah introduced me to Leigh one Friday afternoon, and told me that Leigh and her husband had an extra room that they'd rent to us. They had a trailer near the railroad tracks, and they were having problems paying the rent since Leigh's husband did not have a job. We negotiated an arrangement, and I paid for the month in advance on the spot. Mariah was very happy, since we could spend every night together instead of packing in a week's worth of intimacy into one weekend. I was required to maintain my room at the barracks, but I moved 90% of my stuff to the trailer. My barracks roommate was happy, since he basically had a two-man room all to himself.

I finally met Leigh's husband the first night Mariah and I spent at our new love nest. When he told me his name, I had to ask him to repeat it.

"It's Skywalker," he said with a wry grin. "And yes, it is my real name, and yes, my brother's name is Luke."

He was apparently used to the quizzical look, and he whipped out his driver's license and a copy of his brother's birth certificate. Sure enough, his brother was Luke Skywalker, born a decade before George Lucas translated his dream into celluloid.

Mariah and I spent every night together entwined. Leigh confessed to Mariah that her husband was very turned on by our (normally very noisy) sexual activities, which made their love life rekindle. Everyone was quite happy until Mr. Skywalker tried to get Mariah into his bed. She refused, and only told me after the Skywalkers had left Tennessee months later.

Skywalker's inability to bed Mariah had a dampening effect on Leigh's sexual activity. While she was the body that was physically being penetrated, it was Mariah's form in her husband's eyes. Once he was shot down by Mariah, he lost interest in his wife. The noises and vocalizations from my room every night became a form of torture for the Skywalkers, and I was totally unaware of it.

Mr. Skywalker had been in the Navy, but was injured in boot camp. He was dating Leigh after they met in the base club. I never really saw why they ever got together, if only to prove without a doubt that old saying that opposites attract. When I asked her why they ended up getting married, she looked at me with a straight face and said:

"I wanted his last name."

That's it... she was married to have her name changed to Skywalker. Luke Skywalker's younger brother was a perverted, frustrated man who entered the bonds of matrimony just so he had a steady source of sex and money. He prostituted his family name, and he did it willingly. She had told him before they went to have a civil wedding.

I'm sure Darth Vader is spinning in his grave. The only Force that the Skywalkers had was a famous name and stupidity.