Despite the ponderings of many very smart people the goal of life has always remained rather elusive. Biologists often claim that the goal of life is to reproduce both selectively and prodigiously thereby effecting change in our genetic sequence and bringing us closer to our evolutionary goal of perfection.

Theologists claim that the goal of life is to praise our deities and spread their word, by force if necessary, to those unfortunate enough to think on their own.

Politicians believe that the goal of life is to aid in the development of the government by paying taxes and ignoring their mistakes.

Californians believe that the goal of life is to experience nature, to revel in its splendor and trample it beneath their Birkenstocks in a tumultuous parade of loving curiosity, all the while avoiding traffic tickets.

I don't believe these things. To understand life I believe it is important to observe life. Witness our fellow herd mammals. Their goals change depending on the stage of their development.

When young, their goals are simple; learn to stand, suckle boobies. When the second phase of development is reached their goals change depending on gender. The males fight for dominance so that they may enjoy lots of sex. The females watch the males fight for dominance so that they too may enjoy lots of sex.

In the third stage of development the goals again unite in the desire to protect the wobbly, suckling young. As they reach the end of their life and the final stage of development the mammals finally realize their ultimate life goal.

Now that all the sex and fighting is over they become fat and dumb. They are now happy, they relish the time afforded them to stand around chewing cud and swatting flies. Eventually they lie down to enjoy a gentle breeze.

Soon the Holy Hyenas will come to shepherd them into the after life so that they can complete the blessed circle and Elton John can write a song about their nobility.