Funny you should mention this, because a couple months back I was tinkering in my lab with some of those big children's books that has the little thing on the right with buttons you can push to hear sounds.

I dismantled the book (it was Winnie the Pooh, I should note) and scanned the audio from the panel thing. Piglet (now let me say this is all coincidence, I promise) had an extremely different waveform than the other characters and noises, and I was quite interested in the anomaly.

I sketched some quick diagrams of the waveform variations, trying to figure out what had made Piglet's samples sound different from the other. It was a flaw in the circuitry, I found out, and I couldn't understand why the manufacturers (or prototype folk, for that matter) didn't pick up on it.

I flipped back through all the old Pooh story books and such, and watched some old videos of the show. I noticed patterns in Piglet's behavior, and at extremely close perusal of some of the videos I noticed strange patterns of what seemed like random video noise in the backgrounds. I was enthralled. Such a thing to do on a Friday night. Researching an anomaly in a kid's book. Anyways, I got out my video camera and set it up on a tripod pointed at the TV, with a tape of the same video in the camera. I set it up so that the camera played and worked as a camera at the same time.

It was shocking.

There were hundreds, thousands of little Piglets in the background. I had tilted the camera on accident by leaning on it and the video feedback on the edge of the image was astounding. There they were in the background, scurrying about very quickly and making what would seen to be a line of noise to the untrained eye.

I had to check the audio. I set up a(n extremely painful) feedback array with what little stereo parts I had and ran the tape full blast. It hurt, but faintly, in a level of sound that seemed almost under the noise floor, they were screaming. Whether or not they were good or bad screams, I could not tell.

Then, I heard it.

The foreground audio was so loud that it was distorted, but I heard the Piglet on screen say "Coming, Pooh!" or something to that effect. At that point, I realized what I had seen.

I know it may sound weird.

It may even sound bad.

But I swear to you it's the truth.


It was an orgy. The little bastards were fucking. They were cumming left and right.



I laughed a bit, and then went on with what I had been doing.