Today, it's a year since my mom killed herself. My little sister called last night, and I feared for a long weepy conversation, for having to jolly her along to another day of living. She was ok though, and offered some wisdom. Today marks the end of a year of anniversaries, the end of a year of "The First __________ Without Mother". From today forward, we're moving in to fresh territory. We've survived. We've learned and accepted, wished Mother well on her new journey, and hoped for better days. She's left a hole in my heart, and so many things unsaid and misunderstood, but deep down I know if she's anywhere, she's seeing clearly now, and knows how much she is loved.
Happy New Year, Mommy.