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"...and I'll have the chicken salad. Thanks."

"Certainly sir. Would you like the grilled chicken salad, chicken caesar salad, or the vietnamese chicken noodle salad?"

"What? Oh, the chicken caesar salad."

"Excellent. And would sir like that in entrée or main size?"

"Main, please."

"Grilled or crumbed?"

"What?"

"Would you like your chicken grilled or crumbed, sir?"

"Grilled, I suppose."

"With the anchovies?"

"Yes."

"Also, sir, we find many people ask for the sauce on the side. Would you like the sauce mixed through or on the side?"

*sigh* "Just however it comes is fine."

"Very good, sir."

 

 

"I'm sorry sir, we appear to be out of anchovies."

"Fine, fine, whatever, without anchovies then."

 

 

"And here is sir's chicken caesar salad."

"There's bacon on this."

"Yes sir, our chicken caesar salad comes with fresh cooked crispy bacon as standard."

"I didn't see that on the menu. I don't eat pork."

"I'm sorry, sir. The menu does list bacon in the chicken caesar salad."

"Well I can't eat it! Could I get this made without bacon, please?"

*pause* "Very good, sir."

 

 

"Your chicken caesar salad, sir."

"Finally. Thank you."