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I feel like suing the living shit out of my government right now. You see…

I hate my last name. My last name is bland and unforgiving. I have a last name so blatantly obvious that if I were not what my last name is, I can only imagine the ridicule I would suffer. Luckily, for me I am what my last name suggests, so I am just fine. I am suing for compensation of the future and past generational suffering of my family sharing my name. However, the name given shows heritage, one of which I am very proud; it is not the same name as my ancestors. For this, my family is just one kin closer to losing the knowledge of where we came from and with whom we have shared our blood. I only have the process of assimilation my great grandfather’s father went through when becoming a citizen to blame, and the sole reason in which I would like to sue. I believe if it was not for the lapse in the process with the immigrants following our arrival my grandmother would have not married outside of her culture and ethnic background, further blurring my family’s history and essentially forcing all preceding offspring to suffer the agonies of being from mixed cultural backgrounds.

I probably will never get around to filing, but it is fun to dream.