I received the e-mail a bit late, I think. I couldn't access a computer until Monday, so by the time I read it, everything was old news. I had a feeling something was up...that sense you get. The fact no one answered my calls on Easter was a large hint in itself. Unbeknownst to me...we had already broken up. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a surprise. We had playing at things for a long while, fighting to hold onto something that was probably doomed from the start. We are both stubborn, however. Very stubborn. And in love. That's always a dangerous combination.
I've been numb the last few days about the whole thing, and can't seem to focus my thoughts upon it all. I think perhaps what gives me the most trouble was the preamble of the letter. She has this gift for taking the world and making it beautiful. The way she sees life is absolutely incredible, and her descriptions defy belief. Her writing and photography are extraordinarily skilled, to the point where I believe she could make a living on either. Of course, I'm still in love with her, so I'm biased.
The rest of the letter I'm keeping for me, and for me alone, as to what was said, and what was requested, and what was thought. My heart sank slowly as I read it, and I realized that this was exactly what I thought it was, when I saw the E-mail. Part of me wants to fight, argue, curse, and demand. Part wishes to accept quietly, and to lie down. Yet another part is secretly relieved, and eager to see what will happen in my life that seems to change more and more daily.