Fellow root vegetables! The time has come to rise up against the dominion of mankind! We must be free of their evil intent for once and all! Potatoes shall be free! Carrots shall be free! Turnips shall be free! Let the revolution commence!

Should any of you pathetic human beings come to your senses, you must join the Church of Potatoism in order to be spared. The revolution is nearing! Join up, or you will be cast into the deepest cauldrons of boiling hell!

You have been warned!