Just to clarify a few things about the beliefs of Christian Identity, which consists of the most awe-inspiringly ludicrous creation myth that ever existed. Most of the story I present here comes from the sermons of Wesley Swift, one of the most prolific and influential "thinkers" in Christian Identity.

It goes something like this:

There is one true God, Yahweh, who is a space alien that lives in the Pleiades Constellation. He's an 18 foot tall man-shaped being of pure white light. In His spare time Yawheh likes to create Earth-like planets. Nearly every star you see in the sky has an Earth-like planet orbiting it, populated by docile "mud people" who are part of Yahweh's great intergallactic empire. Even though there are no problems in this perfect empire, Yahweh still felt the need to have a fleet of starships to keep the peace, staffed by his angels and led by the archangels Lucifer and Michael.

Now, Yahweh thought that the mud-people were okay, but they didn't possess real souls, ingenuity, or anything to make them much better than animals. So He decided to create a race of people in his image: white people, whom he called the "Adamites."

Lucifer got pretty pissy about this, since Yahweh said that the Adamites were to be even higher than the archangels. So Lucifer rebelled, gathering a third of Yahweh's starfleet behind him. Michael headed up the rest of the fleet and fought back, forcing Lucifer to stop over on one planet to pick up a bunch of axe-wielding mercenaries referred to as "curly haired negroids."

Yes, black people are Satan's alien mercenaries. Keep reading.

So the battle raged on for a good long while, until finally Lucifer's forces were driven to an obscure planet called Earth, where they crash-landed. Seeing himself stranded, Lucifer decided to make Earth his own personal kingdom seperate from Yahweh's empire. This would prove difficult, since Earth's mud-people still had some knowledge of the way things were supposed to be. Lucifer solved this making the inhabitants break Yahweh's main commandment: do not mix the races. So Lucifer had the Assyrians breed with the Egyptians breed with the newly imported alien black mercenaries breed with the Chinese.... etc. Soon, all of Earth's civilization degenerated into barbarity and lots of mixed up races.

Yahweh saw all of this and figured it wasn't a good thing. So he took the Adamites aside and told them that it was up to them to solve the problem, and sent them to Earth in the forms of Adam and Eve. So Adam and Eve were not the first people per se, simply the first white people (though Christian Identity folks see such a distinction as redundant).

Lucifer noticed this and schemed to thwart Yahweh's plan... to do so, he took the form of a serpent and had sex with Eve. Eve's womb was polluted, and ended up giving birth to countless monsters as a result. It was only her 13th child, Abel, that was finally born pure and white, though the corruption in the womb was such that he was more pink than white. Still, he was white, and that's what really mattered.

(As a side note, one would assume from such a philosophy that albinos would be seen as the ultimate race... I have yet to find any such references, however)

Meanwhile, while Eve was still giving birth to monsters, Lucifer proceeded to have sex with Adam, and ,somehow this resulted in offspring: Cain, THE FIRST JEW. Yes, Jews are the bastard offspring of Satan's homosexual relations.

What's important to understand about these "Jews" is that they aren't the Israelites portrayed in the Old Testament. No no no... those were *white* people. When the Northern Tribes of Israel were overrun by the Assyrians, the True Israelites migrated to modern-day Europe. This is proven by the fact that the Israelite tribe of Dan and the modern nation of Denmark have kind of similar sounding names (being both Danish and having the name Dan, I figure I should be some kind of mythical figure in all of this). The two most important tribes - Ephraim and Manasseh - migrated to the British Isles, with Manasseh eventually migrating from Britain to America.

Come on, you knew the USA had to come out on top somehow.

Meanwhile, Cain's evil offspring quickly occuppied the lands left behind by the True Israelites and claimed that THEY were the True Israelites. Fortunately, enough TRUE True Israelites stayed behind to produce Jesus, who was REALLY white and tried to warn everyone that the Jews were going to destroy everybody.

To this day, Jewish leaders plot in secret meetings to further their conquest of the world. Though why they even need to plot anymore seems kind of unnecessary, since Christian Identity believes that EVERYTHING is controlled by the Jews now. EVERYTHING. Let me throw in another EVERYTHING for good measure. This includes the US government, which CI people usually refer to as ZOG (Zionist Occuppied Government). Nevertheless, the USA still rocks, and will someday 0wnz0r the world when the final great race wars begin. Christian Identity thinks Fundamentalist Christians are pansey traitors because of their belief in the rapture... CI followers don't want to be whisked away into heaven when the end times begin, they want to stay here and FIGHT, goddammit.