There existed a moment today when i suddenly felt as if i was channeling the spirt of
Nick Carraway, the fictional character from
The Great Gatsby. I feel from this I can draw two conclusions.
- This english stuff is infecting my brain.
- The realization I really don't truly like most of the people I know.
There exists this strange method of how I integrate myself into a social system. All throughout my life, I seem to be hovering always between the geek crowd, which I usually identify the greatest with, and I really think sci/tech/computers ect. are really cool. That, and the rest of the "normal world", or the non-geeks and/or "in crowd" (Frankly, labels or any kind tend to make me cringe, so I use them now only with the need for description). Maybe this is why the clique lines so often described by people I always seem have trouble distinguishing. I always thought it was my enviroment was unique, but maybe not.
Also, this brings into question of "introvert" vs "extrovert". Something I never liked, or personality tests in general, because they too easily classify people not in too broad of catagories, but operate under the assumption of static condition/response rules. I am an introvert? I'd say yes. Am I an extrovert? I'd say yes too. The reason I never liked them is, from trying to observe my past behaviors, I will change my fundamental personality traits (based on the usual classifications used) on anywhere from an hourly to several year basis.
Then again, can I even accurately judge my own behavior? However, are not I the only one who really knows for sure what I'm thinking? Or maybe... ... ... I'm just going crazy?
The wacky shit you think of in the shower while waiting for your underwear to dry. I'm tired though.. so, g'night